Gestalt play therapy

1. Introduction

Version followed: the Oaklander Model as Violet Oaklander set it out in her two-part article "The Therapeutic Process with Children and Adolescents" (reprinted in IAHIP Inside Out, 2004) and her psychotherapy.net interview, plus the process outline taught by her trainee Peter Mortola (Lewis & Clark course CTSP 551, 2023). Her books Windows to Our Children (1978, Real People Press; 1988, Gestalt Journal Press) and Hidden Treasure: A Map to the Child's Inner Self (2006, Karnac/Routledge) are the founding texts but are not drawn on here; Part Two of the article (emotional expression, self-nurturing, endings) was also not reachable. Content from those parts rests on the Mortola syllabus and is marked accordingly. [source: Oaklander, IAHIP Part One; Mortola syllabus 2023; cfcenj book list]

Gestalt play therapy in this sense is Violet Oaklander's adaptation of Gestalt therapy (Perls and the Gestalt school: contact, awareness, organismic self-regulation, the I-Thou relationship drawn from Buber) for children and adolescents, using creative, sensory and projective media as the way in. These Gestalt concepts belong to Oaklander and the Gestalt school; they are a theory of change, not established fact. Its core idea of change: troubled children have restricted, armoured or fragmented contact with their senses, body, emotions and intellect and a weak, poorly bounded self ("If the self is weak and undefined, the boundary is fuzzy and contact suffers", Oaklander 2001 as quoted by Fried 2023). Through a genuine relationship, sensory and body work and experiences that strengthen the self, the child gains enough self-support to express blocked emotions and then to accept and nurture themselves. Change comes through experience and expression, not insight alone. [source: Oaklander IAHIP Part One; psychotherapy.net interview; Fried 2023]

A separate South African school (Blom, The Handbook of Gestalt Play Therapy) also uses the name "Gestalt play therapy"; it is not drawn on here and is not the version followed [uncertain]. For non-directive, child-led play therapy see tab 157 Child-centred play therapy; the Oaklander Model differs in that the therapist actively proposes experiences and projective tasks, while still following the child's rhythm.

Professional frame. There is no separately regulated profession of "Gestalt play therapist". The model is used by already licensed or registered mental-health professionals with child training (counsellors, psychologists, social workers, play, art and family therapists). Oaklander-specific training: her former two-week Santa Barbara intensives, now continued by Karen Fried in Santa Monica (Oaklander Training; Violet Solomon Oaklander Foundation, VSOF) and by trainees such as Lynn Stadler and Peter Mortola, in the US and abroad (including 70-hour international programmes). Workshops accredited by the West Coast Institute count towards WCI certification as a Certified Gestalt Therapist with Children and Adolescents; US APT continuing-education credit is available for reading the core books. Oaklander herself advised her own therapy or supervision for anyone doing this work. Do not use the deeper projective and anger-expression work without supervised training in the model and in child therapy; in the UK, play therapy registration routes are BAPT or PTUK, and in the US the Association for Play Therapy (RPT credential). [source: cfcenj home-study page; NUS course page 2022; Fried 2023; psychotherapy.net interview] [synthesis for BAPT/PTUK/RPT; uncertain]

2. Framework

Oaklander describes elements, not fixed phases: they "are not strictly sequential" and the therapist moves back and forth between them in any session. [source: Oaklander IAHIP Part One]

Element	Goal	Moving on
1. Relationship (I-Thou)	Meet the child as a separate, equal person; therapist authentic, non-judgemental, with own boundaries	Child can be present with you; foundation re-checked throughout. "I can't do anything unless we have that relationship" (interview)
2. Contact	Assess each session whether the child can make, sustain and appropriately withdraw from contact (seeing, hearing, touch, taste, smell, speech, movement)	Child stays present for an activity; energy and contact rise rather than drop
3. Senses and body	Re-awaken sensory and body awareness; loosen, breathe, build pride in the body	Child engages with materials and movement with energy
4. Strengthening the self (self-support)	Defining self, choices, mastery, power and control, owning projections, boundaries and limits, playfulness, contacting aggressive energy	Child makes choices, owns statements ("that fits for me"), takes over sessions in play
5. Emotional expression	Contact aggressive energy; express and contain feelings; work with past trauma and everyday feeling skills	Child can name, express and choose how to express feelings
6. Self-nurturing	Child becomes self-accepting and actively nurturing toward the self, often near termination	Self-critical messages soften; better functioning in life
Ending	Termination is provisional: children return to issues at later developmental stages	Better functioning at school, with friends and at home

[source: Oaklander IAHIP Part One; Mortola syllabus 2023 (elements 5 and 6); cfcenj (self-nurturing near termination); interview (progress criteria)]

Session format. Individual sessions, usually weekly; Oaklander's long case (Joey) ran weekly for about 1.5 years with parents joining every few sessions. Parents attend the first session together with the child and join family sessions every three to four weeks; sometimes the family is seen without the child. Sessions start and end on time; the child helps tidy up (except after sand-tray scenes), then the therapist grounds the child with everyday talk before they leave. The model is also used with families and groups. No fixed session count is given in the sources [uncertain]. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview; Karnac book page]

Typical session arc (as described in the interview and Mortola's four-part sequence): check-in and contact; a sensory, body or creative activity; a projective task (Imagine it, Make it, Be it, Does it fit?); the child's own ownership of the material; clean-up and grounding. [source: interview; Mortola syllabus]

First session. Parents and child together so the child hears what the parents say, "I want the child to hear whatever the parents tell me" (interview). A checklist of practical questions (reason for coming, sleep, appetite, dreams), asked of the child directly in age-appropriate words. Children in foster or group care: the first session focuses on connection. A House-Tree-Person drawing may be requested, but is not interpreted: the therapist offers observations and asks whether they fit. [source: interview]

3. Guiding principles

I-Thou relationship. Meet the child as an equal; no teacherly or patronising tone, manipulation or expectations. Practical meaning: your genuineness is the main tool; stay a separate person, not a parent substitute. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Accept the child as they present and follow their rhythm. Start "where they are" (e.g. the teen's music magazine). Practical meaning: join the child's interest before proposing anything. [source: interview]
Contact is assessed every session. Practical meaning: ask yourself, is the child here now; notice drops in energy before the child does. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Healthy withdrawal is part of contact. Practical meaning: a child who never stops talking or cannot play alone is not in real contact; a child who withdraws after a hard moment is self-regulating. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Resistance is the child's ally. "Resistance is the child's ally" (IAHIP Part One). Practical meaning: expect, name and honour it; work in small segments. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Organismic self-regulation (Gestalt school concept, listed among Oaklander principles in training handouts). Practical meaning: children express only what they have strength for, then close down; trust that. [source: interview; Hinds handout]
Strengthen the self before deep emotional work. Practical meaning: build choices, mastery, boundaries and body awareness first; expression of buried feelings needs self-support. [source: IAHIP Part One; Mortola]
Observe, do not interpret. Offer tentative observations and let the child confirm or reject ("Does that fit for you?"). Practical meaning: the child owns or disowns the projection; you never tell them what a drawing means. [source: interview; McMullin 1997 summarising Oaklander 1978; Karnac description]
What and how, not why. Practical meaning: ask what the child is doing and feeling now, not why. [source: Hinds handout, secondary]
Awareness is not enough. Practical meaning: change comes through experience and expression and the child feeling stronger. [source: interview]
Clear, consistent limits. Time, the therapist's desk and phone, no flicking paint; held without lecturing; say when you reach your own physical limits. Practical meaning: limits give the child a boundary to push against and define the self. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Choices wherever possible. Practical meaning: patiently insist the child chooses, starting small, unless choosing is too painful just now. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Children do not learn through frustration. Practical meaning: notice the point where energy drops and offer help framed as your own tentative idea. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Specific "I"-statement feedback, not global praise. Practical meaning: "I like the colours you chose" (illustrative) rather than "You're brilliant"; sweeping praise can turn into negative introjects. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Playfulness. Practical meaning: the therapist must be able to play; the child taking over the session in play is a sign of progress. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Developmental fit and history. Practical meaning: know the child's history and context and match work to developmental level; welcome regression to younger play. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview]
Therapist self-awareness. Practical meaning: monitor countertransference "buttons"; have your own therapy or supervision. "You have to like children!" (interview). [source: IAHIP Part One; interview]
Touch is minimal and asked first. Practical meaning: ask before a hug or hand on the shoulder; a child pulling away means stop. [source: interview]
Child safety and rights (consent, assent, safeguarding). Practical meaning: see box below. [synthesis]

Children: consent, assent, parents and safeguarding [synthesis unless tagged]

Consent: obtain informed consent from whoever holds legal authority (parents, guardians, local authority or court for looked-after children); check custody orders in separated families. Older children and adolescents may consent in their own right where local law allows (e.g. Gillick competence in England and Wales).
Assent: explain in the child's words who you are, what happens in the room (making things, playing, talking), what stays private and what you would have to share, and that they can say no to any activity. Oaklander's practice of honouring a direct "no" immediately fits this. [source: IAHIP Part One for the "no"]
Confidentiality with parents: agree in the first session what parents will hear (themes and progress, not the content of drawings or play) and what you must pass on (risk of harm).
Parent involvement: joint first session; family sessions every three to four weeks; coach parents to notice small changes, offer choices, give specific praise, keep consistent limits and play with the child. [source: interview; IAHIP Part One]
Safeguarding and mandatory reporting: reporting duties, thresholds and who you report to vary by jurisdiction and profession (e.g. US state mandated-reporter laws; UK local safeguarding partnership procedures; other national laws). Know your local rules and service policy before starting; record disclosures in the child's words; do not question leadingly or use play to investigate abuse; consult your safeguarding lead.
Projective material is not evidence: drawings, sand scenes, puppet and doll play (including the House-Tree-Person) are used in this model for the child's own sense-making, not for diagnosis. No validity or reliability data for these uses is cited here [uncertain]; never present a child's artwork or play as evidence of abuse or disorder. Act on disclosures and observable risk, following your safeguarding procedures.
Age adaptation: Oaklander worked with children from about age 3 to adolescence. Young children: more sensory and body play, shorter tasks, more therapist joining. Adolescents: music, cards, self-statement and polarity work, more talk. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview] [synthesis for the adaptations]

4. Intervention inventory

All example language is illustrative unless quoted and cited. Materials safety applies throughout [synthesis]: non-toxic, age-appropriate paints, clay and markers (check labels and allergies, e.g. latex balloons, food allergies for the orange exercise); wet clay rather than dry dust, clean surfaces with a damp cloth; no small parts for children under 3 or for children who mouth objects; sand tray sand kept clean and dry, figures checked for sharp edges; real tools (woodworking) only with close supervision, rules and eye protection; soft balls and pillows only in a cleared space; avoid cords, ropes or anything that could be tied around a neck or body.

A. Relationship and contact

A1. Joining the child where they are

Purpose / when: First sessions, and any child who is silent, frightened or refusing. Builds the I-Thou relationship and first contact. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) Notice what the child brings or turns to (a magazine, music, a toy). (2) Show genuine interest and join it, without steering to "the problem". (3) Use a low-pressure shared activity, such as colouring side by side in a colouring book while chatting about neutral topics. (4) Over sessions, move gently to light projection, e.g. Oaklander asked what a bird in the colouring book might say if it could talk. (5) If no contact forms over time, consider changing approach or setting, or referral. [source: interview]
Example language: "You brought this magazine. Show me who you're into." / "I'll colour this side, you take that one." (illustrative)
Watch for: Small shifts towards you (eye contact, a comment, staying longer). One sentence can be the session's work. Pressure to talk too soon closes contact. [source: interview]

A2. First session with parent(s) and child

Purpose / when: Intake for children living with parents. Lets the child hear the concerns and establishes you as separate from the parents. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) See parents and child together. (2) Let parents say why they have come, with the child present. (3) Go through a practical checklist (reason for coming, sleep, appetite, dreams and so on), asking the child directly in age-appropriate words. (4) Agree the plan for parent sessions (every three to four weeks). (5) Agree consent, confidentiality and limits to confidentiality [synthesis]. (6) For looked-after children without parents present, use the session for connection. [source: interview]
Example language (to parents): Oaklander's stance, "I don't fix kids" (interview); then, illustratively: "What I do is help children feel better about themselves and say what's going on inside."
Watch for: Harsh parental comments: Oaklander holds that the child should hear them, but in practice decide in advance how you will contain a parent who becomes abusive in the room, and stop the joint session if it is harming the child [synthesis].

A3. Contact assessment at each session

Purpose / when: Every session. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Observe whether the child is present with senses, body, emotion and intellect. (2) Notice armouring (stiff body, withdrawal), rigid pseudo-contact (non-stop talk) and healthy withdrawal. (3) If the child seems distracted, ask what has happened recently (school, home). (4) Pick the next activity to match: sensory or body work for a child out of contact, projective work for a child who is present. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview (stiff walk calls for loosening first)]
Example language: "You seem far away today. What happened this week?" (illustrative)
Watch for: A sudden drop in energy signals the child has reached a limit; change the activity (e.g. suggest a game). [source: IAHIP Part One]

A4. Joining a dysregulated child's activity (Joey example)

Purpose / when: Highly hyperactive or chaotic children who cannot yet engage. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Follow the child around the room rather than stopping them. (2) Comment briefly on each object they pick up. (3) Keep going session after session; in the case example the child paused briefly by the second session and slowed and interacted by the fourth. (4) Offer wordless contact media they take to (drums, percussion, a kaleidoscope they share). [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "That's the heavy one. Oh, now the car." (illustrative)
Watch for: Physical safety of the space (remove breakables); your own limits, which you name. [synthesis; IAHIP for naming limits]

B. Senses and body

B1. The Orange Exercise

Purpose / when: Sensory awakening, mainly in groups; from Windows to Our Children. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Give each child an orange. (2) Explore it slowly by sight, smell, weight, temperature, texture. (3) Peel it; look at, smell and taste the peel and the white pith. (4) Notice the shiny surface. (5) Separate the segments and explore each one carefully. (6) Trade segments and notice that each tastes and feels different. (7) Talk about the experience. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "Hold it. Is it heavy or light? Warm or cool?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Citrus allergy and choking risk in young children; food rules in the setting [synthesis]. Working signs: slowing down, detailed noticing; one 12-year-old said afterwards she could no longer eat fruit the old way. [source: IAHIP Part One]

B2. Fingerpainting, clay with water, sand and textures

Purpose / when: Children cut off from their senses, anxious or armoured children; also as regression play. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview]
Steps: (1) Offer fingerpaint or clay with plenty of water, sand, textured objects. (2) Let the child explore without a product goal. (3) Allow regression (pouring water on clay to make mud; washing all the clay tools). (4) Comment on what you see, not its meaning. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "Feel how squishy it gets with water." (illustrative)
Watch for: Relaxation and enjoyment show it is working. Oaklander welcomes regression because traumatised children have often skipped developmental stages. Allow time and set up for mess. [source: IAHIP Part One]

B3. Breath games

Purpose / when: Unblocking, loosening, deeper breathing; anxious and tense children; adolescents use the breathing later in exams. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: Choose one: (a) balloon race: keep a balloon in the air by blowing on it, who lasts longest; (b) cotton-ball race: blow a cotton ball across a table to a finish line; (c) relaxation and meditative breathing; (d) sound, singing and screaming games. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "Ready, set, blow! Can you get it over the line?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Light-headedness from over-breathing (pause); latex allergy with balloons; noise levels and neighbours for screaming games. [synthesis]

B4. Movement and body games

Purpose / when: Disconnection from the body, stiffness, hyperactivity, bed-wetting (body-focused games), low body pride. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: Offer one for five minutes or a whole session, negotiated with the child: charades with fingers, then whole-body sport mimes; exaggerated pantomime; dancing; throwing a soft ball; falling onto pillows; pillow fights; hand-wrestling; yoga and slow controlled movement for hyperactive children. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview]
Example language: "Show me a basketball shot with just your fingers. Now with your whole body." (illustrative)
Watch for: Physical contact games (hand-wrestling, pillow fights) need the child's agreement, a stop word and matched strength; skip them for children for whom physical contact is a trauma trigger. Clear the space; watch for falls. [synthesis] Oaklander likens this to a dance where the lead passes back and forth. [source: IAHIP Part One]

B5. Woodworking with tool rules

Purpose / when: Oaklander used it with disturbed boys in school settings to build cooperation and contact and to channel anger. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) Agree explicit tool-use rules. (2) Work on a shared project. (3) Use sawing and hammering as safe outlets for energy. [source: interview]
Example language (illustrative): "The rule for the saw is two hands on it, and it stays on the bench. Want to see how hard you can hammer this nail?" [synthesis]
Watch for: Real tools need close supervision, eye protection and a suitable space; many clinics will not allow them; soft-wood and toy tools are an alternative. [synthesis]

C. Strengthening the self

C1. Defining the self

Purpose / when: Children with a weak or diffuse sense of self. "This is who I am, this is who I am not." [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) The child dictates lists while you write: favourite and hated foods, likes and dislikes at school, wishes. (2) Clay figures showing good and bad feelings or a "good" and "bad" self. (3) Drawing, collage, puppets, metaphor and dreams for the same purpose. (4) With adolescents: offer general descriptive statements (e.g. from horoscopes or test-interpretation printouts) for the teen to accept, reject or qualify. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "Tell me five foods you can't stand. I'll write them down." / "Does this sentence fit you, not fit you, or half fit?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Clear, owned statements and pleasure in being known. [source: IAHIP Part One]

C2. Making choices

Purpose / when: Children who fear wrong answers ("I don't know", "whatever you want"). [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Offer small choices (where to sit, which material). (2) Wait and patiently insist on a choice, unless choosing is too painful right now. (3) Build towards more complex choices. (4) Encourage parents to offer choices at home. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "Markers or crayons? You choose." (illustrative)
Watch for: Distress beyond mild discomfort means drop the demand for now. [source: IAHIP Part One]

C3. Mastery experiences

Purpose / when: Children from neglectful, abusive, alcoholic or over-controlling homes who lack experiences of competence. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Plan mastery (a new game, building, puzzles) or catch it as it arises. (2) Track the child's energy; step in before frustration overwhelms. (3) Offer help as your own uncertain idea, which the child may take or leave (in her example, an 11-year-old chose picture wire to fix a model bird). (4) Do not take credit. (5) Give specific "I" feedback rather than global praise. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "I'm not sure, but maybe wire would hold it? What do you think?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Pride, persistence and the child's own solution. [source: IAHIP Part One]

C4. Boundaries, limits and power in play

Purpose / when: Throughout; especially children who fight for control or feel powerless. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Hold a few clear limits (time, your desk and phone, no flicking paint) without a formal speech. (2) Say plainly when you reach your own physical limit. (3) Respect the child's limits on themselves. (4) Allow the child to take over and direct play scenarios in which they hold the power (e.g. police and robber, "principal's office" in which the child advises the therapist about a troubled teddy bear). (5) Step out of role briefly when needed. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "That's my desk, it's off limits. Everything on this side is yours to use." / stepping out of role: "Pause the game, that's too tight for me." (illustrative)
Watch for: In the Joey case the child tied the therapist with rope, with the therapist stepping out of role when it was too tight. Today, do not use ropes, cords or real restraints, which pose ligature, injury and re-enactment risks and may breach service policy; use pretend restraints (paper chains, mimed handcuffs) or puppets instead. [source: IAHIP Part One for the case] [synthesis for the caution]

C5. Playfulness and imagination

Purpose / when: Traumatised children who have lost play and laughter; parents who are uncomfortable playing. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Bring your own enthusiasm and humour. (2) Offer imaginative games and let the child lead. (3) Show parents how to play in family sessions. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language (illustrative): "Oh no, the dinosaur is sneezing all over my sandwich! What should we do?" [synthesis]
Watch for: Laughter, spontaneity, the child taking over the session: Oaklander saw this as progress. [source: IAHIP Part One]

D. Projective work and owning projections

D1. The four-part projective sequence (Imagine it, Make it, Be it, Does it fit?)

Purpose / when: The core frame for all projective media once the child has enough contact and self-support. Lets the child express inner material through a symbol, then own what fits. [source: Mortola syllabus; Hinds handout; interview]
Steps: (1) Imagine it: invite an image or fantasy (eyes closed if the child is comfortable). (2) Make it: draw, model, build or choose figures. (3) Be it: the child speaks as the image in the first person ("I am a rosebush...") and describes itself, its feelings and its world; you ask questions of the image. (4) Does it fit?: ask whether anything the image said fits the child's own life; accept "no". [source: Mortola syllabus; McMullin 1997 on Oaklander 1978]
Example language: "Be the whale. Whale, what's it like for you out there?" ... "Does any of that fit for you, in your life?" (illustrative; "Does that fit for you?" is Oaklander's own question, interview)
Watch for: Ownership statements ("That fits for me"); energy rising. Oaklander says children usually own it without the intellect being bypassed. A flat "no" is honoured, not argued. [source: interview]

D2. Eyes-closed drawing or clay, then story

Purpose / when: Shy, guarded or "nice" children with hidden feelings; opening a session. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) "Close your eyes and just make something" (Oaklander, interview), drawing or clay. (2) The child finishes it with eyes open. (3) The child tells a story about it. (4) You bring it back gently with "Does that fit for you?" In her example a boy's whale story led to his father's absence and unexpressed feelings. [source: interview; Mortola syllabus (eyes-closed clay, family figures)]
Watch for: Strong material may surface quickly; leave time to ground. [source: interview]

D3. Rosebush fantasy (rosebush self-portrait)

Purpose / when: Self-representation through metaphor; from Windows to Our Children. [source: McMullin 1997 citing Oaklander 1978 pp. 53, 56; Mortola syllabus]
Steps (Oaklander's case as summarised): (1) Invite the child into a short guided fantasy of being a rosebush. (2) The child draws the rosebush. (3) The child describes the picture as the rosebush, while you write the story down. (4) Ask whether it fits their life. In the case, an 8-year-old linked it to her adoption and her parents' separation, and the family was later brought in together. [source: McMullin 1997] A more structured version (relaxation, guided questions about size, flowers, roots, surroundings, caretakers, weather and seasons, then an 11-question inquiry) was published by Allan and Crandall (1986); that is a later adaptation, not Oaklander's own protocol. [source: McMullin 1997]
Example language: "Imagine you are a rosebush. What kind of rosebush are you? Where are you growing? Who looks after you?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Images of neglect or danger (weeds, a mower) are metaphors to explore with the child, not evidence of abuse. [synthesis; Hinds handout for the example]

D4. Safe place drawing

Purpose / when: Strengthening the self, building resources before emotional work. Named by Oaklander and the Fried guidebook; detailed steps were not in the sources [uncertain].
Steps (synthesis): (1) Invite the child to imagine and draw a place, real or invented, where they feel safe. (2) The child describes it and what makes it safe. (3) Return to it at the end of hard sessions. [synthesis]
Example language (illustrative): "Close your eyes if you like and imagine a place where you feel safe. It can be real or made up. Now draw it any way you want." [synthesis]
Watch for: Some traumatised children cannot find a safe place; accept a "safe-ish" one or a safe object or person instead. [synthesis] A teenager's "ice cave" drawing in Oaklander's article (a place to think, away from his identical twin) shows how such images become owned. [source: IAHIP Part One]

D5. Sand tray scene

Purpose / when: Projective scene-building; sensory work. [source: IAHIP Part One; Mortola syllabus; Fried 2023]
Steps: (1) The child chooses figures and builds a scene. (2) The child tells about it, then may be invited to be a figure and speak as it (D1). (3) Ask whether it makes sense for, or fits, their life. (4) Do not ask the child to tidy up a sand scene; dismantle it after they leave. [source: IAHIP Part One; Fried 2023]
Example language: "Choose some things that want to be in your world today." (illustrative)
Watch for: Do not interpret symbols for the child. [source: interview; Karnac description]

D6. Puppets

Purpose / when: Evaluation and expression, including working with trauma (Bernier 2005, cited by Fried); self-representation. [source: Fried 2023; Mortola syllabus]
Steps: (1) The child chooses a puppet, e.g. one to be them, or a fairy godmother (Mortola's training exercise). (2) The puppet speaks, hugs, hits or jumps. (3) You talk to the puppet, not the child. (4) Then ask whether anything fits. [source: Mortola syllabus; Fried 2023]
Example language: "Fairy godmother, what would you give this boy?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Puppet "hitting" is pretend and kept within limits on people and property. [synthesis]

D7. Projective and talking cards

Purpose / when: Feelings and timeline work, especially with older children and adolescents. [source: Mortola syllabus; Fried 2023]
Steps: (1) Lay out picture cards. (2) The child chooses a card for how they feel now, how they would like to feel, or one for each of the core feelings (sad, mad, glad, scared). (3) Or one card each for past, present and future self. (4) The child speaks as or about the card; ask what fits. [source: Mortola syllabus; Fried 2023]
Example language (illustrative): "Pick a card that shows how you feel right now, and one for how you'd like to feel. Can you be this card and tell me about yourself?" [synthesis]
Watch for: Commercial card sets are licensed; use them as published, do not copy them. [synthesis]

D8. Drawing variants: family symbols, scribble drawings, House-Tree-Person, dollhouse

Purpose / when: Family relationships, warm-up, assessment conversation. [source: Mortola syllabus; interview; Fried 2023]
Steps: Family symbols: each member drawn as a symbol, colour or shape, then the child speaks as each. Scribble drawing: a free scribble, then the child finds and develops an image in it. House-Tree-Person: on request at intake; offer observations as tentative (e.g. few windows), then ask if they fit. Dollhouse: the child designs and plays out home life; used for disclosure and resolution through child-led play (Klem 1992, cited by Fried 2023). [source: Mortola syllabus; interview; Fried 2023]
Example language (illustrative): "Here's your scribble. Turn the page around and see if you can find a picture hiding in it." [synthesis]
Watch for: No validity data for these drawings as tests is cited here [uncertain]; they are conversation starters, never evidence of abuse or disorder. [synthesis]

D9. Music

Purpose / when: Contact without words (drums and percussion); adolescents' own music to connect with feeling. [source: IAHIP Part One; interview]
Steps: (1) Let the child try instruments. (2) Play one with eyes closed, then talk about it (Mortola training exercise). (3) With teens, listen to their songs together and ask what the song says about them. [source: Mortola syllabus; interview]
Example language (illustrative): "Choose a drum that sounds like how you feel today, and play it for me." [synthesis]
Watch for: Volume: keep drumming at comfortable levels, offer ear defenders to noise-sensitive children; songs can trigger strong memories, so let the child choose and stop. [synthesis]

E. Emotional expression and aggressive energy

E1. Contacting aggressive energy and working with anger (six steps)

Purpose / when: Once the self is strong enough. "Aggressive energy" in Oaklander's sense is healthy, assertive life energy, distinct from anger; many troubled children have lost it or turn it on themselves or others. [source: Mortola syllabus lists the steps; IAHIP Part One lists aggressive energy under strengthening the self; the definition here is a paraphrase, uncertain]
Steps (as listed in Mortola's course outline): (1) Awareness of anger and how the body holds it. (2) Expressing and containing it in session: essential elements are contact with the therapist, a safe container with clear limits, a spirit of play, exaggeration, and no need for content (the child does not have to say what the anger is about). (3) Acknowledging rage. (4) Accepting the anger as one's own. (5) Choosing how to express it, directly or privately. (6) Working with unfinished anger. [source: Mortola syllabus]
Activities used for step 2: pounding, smashing and stabbing clay; hammering and sawing; pillow-hitting and pillow fights; screaming games; drawing the anger; puppets that hit; tug games. [source: interview; IAHIP Part One; Mortola syllabus] [synthesis for tug games]
Example language: "Let's make a noise as big as that mad feeling. Bigger!" / "Pound the clay as if it's what makes you mad. You don't have to tell me what it is." (illustrative)
Watch for: Play and exaggeration keep it safe; stop if the child loses contact with you or becomes frightened or out of control; never direct anger at a real person or animal; no hitting the therapist. End with calming and grounding. Children with explosive anger may need regulation work (B3, B4) first. [synthesis]

E2. Empty chair and chair-switching

Purpose / when: Angry children in conflict with someone (a teacher, a parent); helps them recognise projection and take responsibility. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) Place an empty chair; the child imagines the other person in it. (2) The child says what they feel to the chair. (3) The child switches chairs and answers as the other person. (4) Continue the dialogue; then talk about what they noticed. [source: interview]
Example language: "Tell Mr X in this chair what happened. Now sit here and be Mr X. What does he say?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Do not use with an abuser in the chair unless the child is safe, strong and wants to; the switch to "being" an abuser can be harmful. [synthesis]

E3. Projecting feelings through art and play

Purpose / when: Grief, fear, trauma and everyday feeling skills. [source: Mortola syllabus]
Steps: (1) Draw, sculpt or choose a figure or card for a feeling. (2) The child is the feeling and speaks as it (D1). (3) Locate where it sits in the body (body states as feelings). (4) Build an everyday feelings vocabulary and ways to say feelings at home and school. [source: Mortola syllabus] [synthesis for step order]
Example language: "Make the scared feeling out of clay. What does Scared want to tell you?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Past trauma is approached only with enough self-support, in small segments; resistance shows the limit. [source: IAHIP Part One]

E4. Polarities: the critical part and the rebellious part

Purpose / when: Children, especially adolescents, who are very hard on themselves, with one part critical and another rebelling. [source: interview]
Steps (synthesis built on her description): (1) Name both parts. (2) Give each a chair, puppet or drawing. (3) Let each speak to the other. (4) Help the teen see the split and what each part wants. [synthesis; the split itself is from the interview]
Example language (illustrative): "There's a part of you that says 'You're so stupid', and a part that says 'I don't care'. Let's give each one a chair. What does the critic want to say to the rebel?" [synthesis]
Watch for: Critical voices often echo introjected adult messages; link to self-nurturing work (F1). [synthesis]

F. Self-nurturing

F1. Self-nurturing work

Purpose / when: Helping the child become self-accepting and actively nurturing toward the self, especially after trauma; it often comes up near termination. [source: Mortola syllabus; IAHIP Part One abstract; cfcenj on the Fried guidebook]
Steps: Oaklander's own step-by-step method is in Hidden Treasure and Part Two of her article, neither is drawn on here [uncertain]. A cautious version consistent with the model [synthesis]: (1) Identify a self-critical or rejected part (often voiced in E4 or seen in "bad self" clay figures, C1). (2) Give it form (drawing, clay, puppet). (3) Ask where it came from and what it needs, without pushing for a cause. (4) Invite the child to find something kind they can do or say for that part (in a puppet, a drawing, a list of soothing things), or to imagine a nurturing figure for it (e.g. the fairy godmother puppet, D6). (5) Translate it into small everyday self-care acts and tell parents how to support them.
Example language: "This part of you feels stupid a lot. What would help it feel a bit better?" (illustrative)
Watch for: Self-hate that comes with self-harm or suicidal thinking needs a risk assessment (see section 5), not only creative work. [synthesis]

G. Session process, parents and setting

G1. Working through resistance (procedure)

Purpose / when: Every time a child refuses, goes passive or loses energy. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Expect it; a child with no resistance at all may be a fragile, fearful complier. (2) Name it without pressure to perform. (3) Help the child soften and move through it briefly. (4) Honour it when it returns: it marks the current limit. (5) Read energy and body signals; change activity (a game) to restore contact. (6) Reinforce a clear direct "no" by honouring it at once. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Example language: "I know you don't feel like drawing today. Do it anyway, any old way, it doesn't have to be good." (illustrative, paraphrasing her approach)
Watch for: Respecting resistance is not the same as giving up the relationship; see section 5.

G2. Clean-up and grounding at the end

Purpose / when: End of every session; especially after strong emotional work. [source: interview; IAHIP Part One]
Steps: (1) Signal the time. (2) Tidy up together (not sand scenes). (3) Turn to everyday topics (e.g. "What did you have for dinner?", interview) or plans. (4) Make sure the child is back in ordinary contact before they leave. [source: interview; IAHIP Part One]
Example language (illustrative): "We have five minutes left. Let's tidy up together; your sand picture can stay. So what are you doing after this?" [synthesis]
Watch for: A child still flooded at the end needs more time with you, a calming activity, and a word with the parent about the rest of the day. [synthesis]

G3. Parent and family sessions

Purpose / when: Every three to four weeks; when parents struggle with their own anger; to support change at home. [source: interview]
Steps: (1) Hold family sessions with or without the child. (2) Help parents express their own feelings without harming others. (3) Coach them to notice small changes and not expect full reversal. (4) Teach choices, mastery, specific "I" praise, consistent limits and how to play. (5) Share themes, not session content, as agreed with the child [synthesis]. [source: interview; IAHIP Part One]
Example language (to a parent): "Notice the small things this week: one time she told you she was cross instead of slamming the door." (illustrative)
Watch for: Parent concerns that point to safeguarding issues (see section 3 box). [synthesis]

G4. Online and teletherapy adaptation

Purpose / when: Remote sessions; described by Karen Fried for the Oaklander community after 2020. [source: Fried 2023]
Steps: (1) Check the home is safe; an unsafe household is the main contraindication, and conflictual homes need caution. (2) Ask parents to set up "readying rituals" (snack, toilet, a set seat) to replace the journey and waiting room. (3) Agree household privacy. (4) Use digital versions of sand tray, dollhouse, puppets, projective cards and drawing apps, or materials the child has at home. (5) Explore the home: its sounds, sights, favourite and least favourite spaces, described or drawn. (6) Prepare several choices in case attention fades; watch for screen fatigue. [source: Fried 2023]
Example language (illustrative): "Before we start, are you somewhere you can talk privately? If you need to stop talking, hold up your thumb and we'll switch to a game." [synthesis]
Watch for: You cannot see who else is in the room; agree a signal the child can use if they cannot talk freely, and have an emergency plan with the carer's contact details and location. [synthesis]

5. Handling problems

Child will not engage or talk. Join the child's interest; use side-by-side, low-demand activities (colouring, music, games); move to light projection later. If contact still does not form, change the approach or setting, or consider referring; Oaklander accepted that "Maybe I cannot see this girl" (as summarised from the interview) can be the honest conclusion. [source: interview]
Resistance during a task. Name it, lower performance pressure, help the child move through it briefly, then honour it when it returns; work in small segments. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Over-compliant child with no resistance. Treat as a sign of a fragile self; slow down and build choices and boundaries before projective or emotional work. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Child gets stuck repeating the same play. Oaklander notes children usually cannot say what keeps them stuck; change comes when they feel stronger and can express what blocks them, without being forced. Return to strengthening the self (section 4C), or introduce a new medium. [source: interview] [synthesis for the response]
Overwhelm or flooding during projective or anger work. Stop the task, return to contact with you, breathe together (B3), use sensory grounding (clay, sand, holding an object), turn to everyday talk, and do not resume that content in the same session. Afterwards, ask whether the self needs more strengthening first. [synthesis; grounding from interview]
Anger that escalates beyond play. Remind the child of limits; slow the activity; if needed, end it and move to calming. Exaggeration and play are what keep anger work safe; once the spirit of play is lost, stop. [source: Mortola syllabus for elements] [synthesis for responses]
Hyperactive or chaotic child. Follow and join at first (A4); then structured movement, yoga and breath games. Coordinate with any prescriber; do not change medication advice. [source: IAHIP Part One] [synthesis for coordination]
Disclosure of abuse or risk. Stay calm, listen, do not lead or probe, record the child's words, tell the child what you must do next, follow your jurisdiction's reporting duty and your service's safeguarding procedure the same day. Do not use the child's drawings or play as the basis of a report on their own; report what was said and observed. [synthesis]
Self-harm or suicidal content in play or talk. Ask directly in age-appropriate language, carry out a standard risk assessment, involve carers and safety planning (including safe storage and removal of medicines and other means at home), and refer to specialist services where risk is significant. [synthesis]
Parents who undermine, withdraw the child or want quick fixes. Repeat that you do not "fix kids"; set expectations of small changes; increase family sessions; work with the parents' own anger; consider parallel parent support or family therapy. [source: interview] [synthesis for parallel support]
Separated parents in conflict over therapy. Check who holds legal authority to consent; keep both informed as the law and orders require; avoid being drawn into custody evidence. [synthesis]
Ruptures (child angry with you, feels misunderstood). Name it, take your share, treat the child's direct protest as healthy contact and a clear "no" to honour. Check your own countertransference in supervision. [source: IAHIP Part One for honouring "no" and countertransference] [synthesis for the rupture steps]
Child taking over sessions or controlling you. In play this is usually progress: allow it within limits; step out of role when a limit is reached. Do not allow re-enactments that put you or the child at physical risk (ropes, real restraint, real weapons). [source: IAHIP Part One] [synthesis for the safety limit]
Touch. Keep touch minimal and ask first ("Can I give you a hug?" was her example); stop if the child pulls away. Agree touch rules for body games (hand-wrestling, pillow fights) with a stop word; respect cultural and family norms; be extra careful with children who were physically or sexually abused; never sexual or genital touch, and no touch the child cannot freely refuse. Record any physical contact in notes. [source: interview for asking] [synthesis for the rest]
Materials misuse (throwing, flicking paint, eating clay). Hold the limit calmly, redirect to a safe outlet (pounding clay, soft ball), remove the material if needed. [source: IAHIP Part One for the paint limit] [synthesis]
Regression to younger play. Welcome it in older children; it often fills a missed developmental stage. Explain this to parents. [source: IAHIP Part One]
Plateaus and return to therapy. Plateaus are normal; children may return at later developmental stages as issues re-emerge. Frame endings as provisional and leave the door open. [source: interview; IAHIP abstract]
Therapist uncertainty. Oaklander's encouragement: "No matter what you do, you can't really go wrong" (interview), with supervision for what you are unsure of. [source: interview]

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