1. Introduction
Version followed: the continuing-bonds framework (Klass, Silverman and Nickman, eds., 1996), with grief assessed against DSM-5-TR and ICD-11 prolonged grief disorder (PGD); traditions described only as their own institutions publish them (a Jodo Shinshu Hongwanji-ha temple and a Gedatsu-affiliated community on Obon; Singapore's National Heritage Board and the Goldsmiths Confucius Institute on Qingming), in outline.
Ancestor rites are not a psychotherapy. They are household, temple, clan and community practices by which the living remember, tend, make offerings to, or (in some traditions) host the dead of their family line: for example the Japanese Buddhist Obon season and the household altar (butsudan), and the Chinese Qingming grave-sweeping festival. Whether ancestors are present, return, or benefit from offerings is held differently by different traditions, and even within one religion: a Jodo Shinshu temple teaches that "we do not welcome, entertain, and see off the souls" of ancestors at Obon and frames it as gratitude and a "Gathering of joy" (Kangi-e), while other Japanese communities describe welcoming ancestral spirits home and praying for their rest [source: Senshin Buddhist Temple; Gedatsu, The Meaning of Obon]. This guide describes those views as their holders state them, neither affirming nor dismissing them.
The therapist's core idea of change comes from grief research, not from the rites themselves: Klass, Silverman and Nickman argued that the 20th-century model requiring mourners to sever ties with the dead reflects modern Western values more than what bereaved people actually do, and that a continuing bond can be a resource for living rather than denial; Klass drew partly on Japanese ancestor practice for this (Klass 1996, Omega 33(4), 279-302) [source: Klass, Silverman and Nickman 1996; Kondo-Arita 2012; Klass 1996]. The psychotherapist therefore (a) assesses grief, including PGD, with explicit attention to cultural and religious norms; (b) supports the client's own rites as a vehicle for the bond; (c) helps repair rites that were missed, disrupted or contested; and (d) treats distress arising from the rite (obligation, conflict, fear, guilt) as clinical material. Confucian ancestor veneration as a religious tradition is covered in XIII 140; mourning rites generally, including the Day of the Dead, in 112; grief counselling in VI 128; prolonged grief treatment in II 127.
African ancestor rites (among many other traditions) are diverse, community-held and frequently restricted in who may lead or witness them; this guide gives no content for them beyond the therapist-side procedures below, and any description should come from the client and the community's own published sources [uncertain: not verified].
2. Framework
There is no manualised protocol, phase model or session count for working with ancestor rites in therapy; none of the sources gives one. The structure below is the therapist-side sequence this guide recommends [synthesis], built on the CFI and PGD criteria.
Phase A: Engagement and cultural assessment. Goal: learn what ancestor practice means in this client's life and family, in the client's own words. Format: woven into intake or early grief sessions; the DSM-5-TR Cultural Formulation Interview (CFI) and its Spirituality, Religion and Moral Traditions module (16 questions, rephrased freely) [source: APA CFI Supplementary Modules]. Move on when you can state the client's tradition(s), practices, who holds authority, and how the rites relate to the presenting problem.
Phase B: Grief assessment and differential. Goal: decide whether the grief is within the client's cultural and religious norms, meets PGD criteria, or involves another condition (depression, PTSD, psychosis, risk). Move on when you have a working formulation and a risk plan; if PGD is likely, coordinate with or refer to prolonged grief treatment (II 127) [synthesis].
Phase C: Working with the bond and the rite. Goal: support helpful practice, address disrupted, missed or contested rites, and work with obligation, conflict, fear or guilt. Includes preparation before and debriefing after observances. Move on when the client's practice feels chosen and bearable, family conflict is negotiable, and rites are no longer avoided out of fear or shame [synthesis].
Phase D: Integration and the ritual year. Goal: anticipate anniversaries and festival seasons, consolidate the client's own way of continuing the bond, and plan endings. Ending criteria: grief within the client's norms, functioning restored, and a plan for future observances and anniversary reactions [synthesis].
Phases overlap; ritual calendars (e.g. Qingming around 4-6 April; Obon in mid-July or August) often dictate timing more than therapy does [source: Singapore NHB; Goldsmiths Confucius Institute; Senshin Buddhist Temple].
3. Guiding principles
- Continuing bonds can be healthy. Do not treat ongoing connection with the dead as a failure to let go; ask what the bond does for the client now [source: Klass, Silverman and Nickman 1996].
- The cultural-norms clause is part of the diagnosis. DSM-5-TR requires that the grief "clearly exceed expected social, cultural, or religious norms"; ICD-11 likewise requires that it exceed the norms of the person's context [source: APA DSM-5-TR new disorders sheet; Peinado et al. 2025]. Practically: ask what the client's own community would consider usual before calling anything prolonged.
- Concepts attributed, not adjudicated. Whether ancestors return, hear or need offerings is a question the tradition answers; the therapist's question is what the belief and practice mean and do for the client [synthesis].
- Traditions vary internally. One temple rejects the idea of returning souls; another community welcomes ancestral spirits; Qingming rituals differ by dialect group [source: Senshin; Gedatsu; Singapore NHB]. Practically: never assume the client's version from the label.
- Experiences of the deceased are common. Felt presence, voices or sights of the dead occur in roughly 30-60% of bereaved people and are mostly comforting; normalise those that do not distress, and examine phenomenology carefully when they do [source: Sabucedo, Evans and Hayes 2023].
- The client is the author of their practice. You do not prescribe offerings, prayers or rites; you help the client choose, adapt and carry them out with whoever holds religious authority [synthesis].
- Outline only, no secret content. Ask the client to share only what they wish; do not seek restricted or initiatory knowledge, and name prayers rather than asking the client to recite them [synthesis].
- Cultural humility. Treat the client as the expert on their tradition and your own assumptions (including secular or Western grief norms) as hypotheses [synthesis].
- Collaboration on the client's terms. Contact a priest, temple, clan association or elder only with the client's consent and for a purpose the client sets [synthesis].
- Boundaries in shared communities. If you belong to the client's religious or ethnic community, consider multiple relationships under APA Ethics Code Standard 3.05 [source: APA Ethics Code].
- Safety first in suicide bereavement. Follow safe-messaging practice and give crisis resources (988 in the US; Samaritans 116 123 in the UK and Ireland) [synthesis].
- Religious or spiritual problem. Where the difficulty centres on the rite or tradition itself rather than a disorder, the DSM-5-TR "Religious or Spiritual Problem" can be recorded with code Z65.8; ICD-10-CM lists religious or spiritual problem under Z65.8 "Other specified problems related to psychosocial circumstances" [source: ICD-10-CM Z65.8 (Unbound Medicine)]; DSM-5-TR wording [uncertain: not verified].
4. Intervention inventory
The sources describe the rites and the assessment frameworks, not therapy techniques for ancestor rites; most procedures below are therapist-side applications and are marked [synthesis] unless a source is named.
4.1 Opening inquiry into ancestor practice
- Purpose: learn early, without assumptions, whether and how the client and family remember or tend their dead. Use at intake for any bereaved client and for clients from traditions with ancestor practice [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Ask an open question about how the family marks or remembers its dead. (2) Ask what the client personally does, and what others expect of them. (3) Note vocabulary the client uses (altar, tablet, grave, columbarium, offering, festival names) and use it back. (4) Ask whether the practice comforts, burdens, or both. (5) Record who holds authority (parent, eldest relative, priest, temple, clan association).
- Example language (illustrative): "Some families keep up practices for the people who have died: visiting graves, a home altar, festival days. Is anything like that part of your family's life, or yours?"
- Watch for: guardedness from fear of being judged as superstitious; one case report describes a dying patient hesitant to discuss her ancestor-related beliefs with staff for this reason [source: Kondo-Arita 2012]. Working sign: the client volunteers details and corrects your terms.
4.2 CFI Spirituality, Religion and Moral Traditions module
- Purpose: a structured cultural assessment of the tradition's role in the problem and in coping [source: APA CFI Supplementary Modules].
- Steps: (1) Use the core CFI first. (2) Use the module's four areas, in your own phrasing: the client's tradition(s), affiliation and family background; the tradition's role in daily and family life, home and outside practices; whether it has helped with coping (leaders, community, texts, practices such as prayer or ritual); and tradition-related stresses, distress, discrimination and conflicts. (3) Substitute the client's own word for the tradition; if several, explore each; if none named, use a general term. (4) Ask about level of involvement and how each practice affects coping. (5) Summarise back and record.
- Example language (illustrative): "You said your family keeps the butsudan. How does that fit into ordinary days at home, and has it helped or added strain since your father died?"
- Watch for: reciting the module as a questionnaire (the module itself says to rephrase to keep rapport); clients with more than one tradition (interfaith, converted) whose conflict lies between them.
4.3 Grief assessment including prolonged grief disorder
- Purpose: identify PGD and distinguish it from normative grief within the client's culture.
- Steps: (1) Establish time since death: DSM-5-TR requires at least 12 months [source: APA DSM-5-TR sheet; Treml et al. 2022]; ICD-11 at least six months [source: Peinado et al. 2025]; DSM-5-TR thresholds for children [uncertain: not verified]. (2) Ask about the core features: intense yearning or longing for, or preoccupation with, the deceased. (3) DSM-5-TR asks for at least three of eight accessory symptoms nearly every day for at least the last month: identity disruption, marked disbelief, avoidance of reminders, intense emotional pain, difficulty reintegrating, emotional numbness, meaninglessness, intense loneliness [source: Treml et al. 2022]. ICD-11 lists intense emotional pain such as sadness, guilt, anger, denial, blame, difficulty accepting the death, feeling one has lost part of oneself, inability to feel positive mood, and numbness [source: Peinado et al. 2025]. (4) Assess impairment. (5) Apply the cultural-norms clause using 4.4.
- Example language (illustrative): "Over the past month, how often has the longing for her taken over your day? What would people in your family or temple say is a usual way to grieve at this point?"
- Watch for: a tradition that prescribes mourning periods or ongoing offerings is not evidence of prolonged grief; culture shapes which symptoms dominate (preoccupation was central for Chinese participants but peripheral for German-speaking ones in one network study cited by Peinado et al. 2025).
4.4 Distinguishing normative continuing bonds from prolonged grief
- Purpose: avoid pathologising sanctioned practice while not missing PGD [synthesis, drawing on Klass et al. 1996 and the cultural-norms clauses].
- Steps: (1) Separate the practice (daily offerings, talking to the dead at the altar, grave visits) from its function. (2) Ask whether the practice consoles and lets the client return to life, or whether it is compulsive, dreaded, or the only thing the client can do. (3) Ask what family or co-religionists think of the client's grief compared with others'. (4) Weigh impairment and the PGD symptom picture above, not the existence of the bond. (5) Revisit at anniversaries.
- Example language (illustrative): "Speaking to your grandmother at the altar each morning sounds like part of your family's way. What I'm curious about is how you feel afterwards, lighter or heavier?"
- Watch for: the therapist's own secular or Western assumption that "letting go" is the goal; and the opposite error, accepting "it's our culture" when the client's own community sees the grief as unusual.
4.5 Assessing perceptions of the deceased
- Purpose: respond accurately when a client reports sensing, hearing or seeing the dead, including through ancestral frames [source: Sabucedo, Evans and Hayes 2023].
- Steps: (1) Ask about such experiences routinely and neutrally; they are often under-reported for fear of ridicule. (2) Clarify phenomenology: felt presence, auditory, visual, multisensory; whether in full wakefulness or at sleep onset or waking (distinguish hypnagogic or hypnopompic experiences and sleep paralysis). (3) Ask whether it is welcome, distressing or mixed, and whether it is unwelcome to the client or only to others. (4) Ask how the client's tradition interprets it. (5) Normalise non-distressing experiences. (6) For distressing ones, explore meaning and fear; screen for pre-existing psychotic symptoms and other conditions; the review notes some distressing experiences could meet brief psychotic disorder criteria and advises medication only as a last resort, which is a prescriber's decision.
- Example language (illustrative): "Many people who lose someone close sense them nearby, hear them, or see them for a moment. Has anything like that happened to you? How was it for you?"
- Watch for: fixed beliefs or other psychotic features predating the loss; fear that the dead are angry (see 4.15); co-occurring sleep disturbance.
4.6 Risk assessment and suicide bereavement
- Purpose: keep safety central, especially after a suicide, when PGD is present, or when a client wishes to join the dead [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Ask directly about suicidal thoughts, including wishes to be reunited with the deceased or the ancestors. (2) Follow your service's standard risk-assessment and safety-planning procedure; lethal-means counselling covers safe storage and removal only. (3) After a suicide, use safe-messaging practice: speak of "died by suicide", avoid method detail, avoid framing the death as a solution or as romantic. (4) Explore how the tradition treats a suicide death (rites withheld, stigma, worry about the deceased's state) as a source of extra pain. (5) Give crisis resources: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US); Samaritans 116 123 (UK and Ireland).
- Example language (illustrative): "When you say you want to be with him and the ancestors, I need to ask plainly: are you having thoughts of ending your life?"
- Watch for: belief-based reunion wishes being heard as "only spiritual"; family refusal to hold rites for someone who died by suicide; anniversary risk.
4.7 Exploring the continuing bond
- Purpose: understand the inner and social relationship with the deceased and how rites carry it, the central idea of continuing-bonds work [source: Klass, Silverman and Nickman 1996; the book's chapter on the inner representation of the deceased, Marwit and Klass].
- Steps: (1) Invite the client to describe the deceased as they are present now: in memory, at the altar, in dreams, in values they live by. (2) Ask where and when the bond is felt (rites, places, objects). (3) Ask what the client would want the relationship to be like. (4) Note unfinished business (unsaid things, conflicts, guilt). (5) Link to rites that might carry what is unfinished (4.10, 4.13).
- Example language (illustrative): "If your mother is still part of your life in some way, where do you feel her most? What does that relationship need now?"
- Watch for: idealisation that blocks grief for a difficult relationship; bonds with abusive ancestors or relatives where veneration duties feel coercive.
4.8 Supporting the client's existing home or temple practice
- Purpose: strengthen a practice the client values without directing its religious content [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Ask what the practice involves for the client (e.g. altar care, incense, offerings, festival services) and what it means to them. (2) Ask what makes it hard (time, grief surging, conflict over who does it). (3) Help solve practical barriers (scheduling, sharing duties with relatives). (4) Leave matters of correct form to the client and their religious authority. (5) Notice whether the practice brings gratitude, connection, or self-reflection (the meanings one Jodo Shinshu temple names for Obon) [source: Senshin Buddhist Temple].
- Example language (illustrative): "You said lighting incense for your father is the moment you feel closest and also the moment it hurts most. Could we think about how to make room for both?"
- Watch for: the therapist inadvertently instructing on ritual; guilt when the practice lapses.
4.9 Mapping the ritual calendar and anniversaries
- Purpose: anticipate surges of grief and family pressure tied to death anniversaries, memorial services and festivals [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) With the client, list the relevant dates: death anniversary, memorial days the tradition keeps, the first festival season after the death, and festivals such as Qingming (around 4-6 April; graves or urns may be visited from about 10 days before to 10 days after in Singapore) or Obon (mid-July or August) [source: Singapore NHB; Senshin Buddhist Temple]. (2) Mark which involve travel, family gatherings or leadership roles. (3) Plan support and preparation sessions around them. (4) Review after each date.
- Example language (illustrative): "Let's put the year's important days for your family's remembering on paper, so we're not surprised by them."
- Watch for: the client's tradition marking the first festival after a death specially [uncertain: not verified for specific traditions]; dates computed on lunar or solar-term calendars the therapist does not track.
4.10 Preparing a client for an observance
- Purpose: help a client take part in a grave visit, memorial service or festival observance with less dread [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Ask what will happen, as the client understands it (e.g. at Qingming in Singapore: cleaning the grave, offerings of food, flowers and tea, candles and joss sticks, bowing or kneeling, burning paper items, then taking food home [source: Singapore NHB]; or a temple Obon service and Bon dance [source: Senshin Buddhist Temple]). (2) Identify the hardest moments (seeing the name on the stone, a particular relative, a role the client must lead). (3) Plan coping: who to stand with, a pause, a private word to the deceased if the client wishes. (4) Clarify what the client chooses to do and what they will decline. (5) Agree a time to debrief.
- Example language (illustrative): "Walk me through the morning of the visit. Where do you expect it to hit hardest, and what would help you at that point?"
- Watch for: avoidance presented as practical excuses (a PGD avoidance symptom if pervasive); outdoor and travel strain for older or disabled clients.
4.11 Debriefing after an observance
- Purpose: consolidate what the rite gave and process what it stirred [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Ask for an account in sequence. (2) Ask what felt connecting, consoling or meaningful. (3) Ask what was painful, and what happened between relatives. (4) Note any experiences of the deceased (use 4.5). (5) Ask what the client would keep or change next time. (6) Screen mood and risk if it went badly.
- Example language (illustrative): "What was it like to stand there this year? Was there a moment that felt right, and a moment that didn't?"
- Watch for: relief that the rite "worked" versus a worsening after it; conflict that emerged and needs its own session.
4.12 Working with disrupted or missed rites
- Purpose: address grief, guilt or shame when rites could not be held or attended: pandemic restrictions, migration and distance, illness, estrangement, or changes in burial practice [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Name what was missed and what it meant (for the dead, the family, the client). (2) Ask whether the tradition offers a later or alternative observance; the client may consult their religious authority. (3) Note what practices already adapt: in Singapore, land scarcity and cremation have moved many families to columbaria and temples with ancestral tablets, some scatter ashes at sea or use biodegradable urns, and offering packages can be bought online [source: Singapore NHB]. (4) Explore guilt ("I failed them") and separate responsibility from circumstance. (5) If the client wants, plan a substitute or delayed observance (4.13).
- Example language (illustrative): "You couldn't fly home for the rites. What do you fear that means, about you or for your grandfather?"
- Watch for: a migrant client caught between the home community's expectations and the host country's realities; a sense of being cut off from ancestors as a loss in itself.
4.13 Co-designing an adapted or substitute observance
- Purpose: give the client a way to complete or continue a rite when the customary form is unavailable or unwanted, with the client as author [synthesis]. Therapeutic ritual approaches by van der Hart and by Imber-Black and Roberts are relevant [uncertain: not verified].
- Steps: (1) Clarify the aim (to say goodbye, to honour, to apologise, to reconnect). (2) Ask what elements from the tradition the client wants to keep, and whether they wish to check with their religious authority. (3) Let the client choose place, objects, words, who attends. (4) Rehearse only logistics, not religious content. (5) Debrief (4.11).
- Example language (illustrative): "If you were to mark your aunt's death here, in your own way, what would need to be part of it for it to feel true to her and to you?"
- Watch for: the therapist's preferences shaping the ritual; elements the community would consider improper, which can create new conflict; secret or restricted elements, which stay with the tradition.
4.14 Working with obligation and family conflict around rites
- Purpose: address strain over who must perform rites and how [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Map roles: who keeps the altar or tablets, who leads, who pays, who travels. (2) Explore expectations by gender, birth order or lineage as the client reports them. (3) Explore positions in interfaith families, converts, those who have left the tradition, LGBTQ+ clients whose partners or identities are not recognised, and disabled clients for whom access is hard. (4) Help the client articulate what they are willing to do, and rehearse conversations with relatives. (5) Consider family sessions if all agree.
- Example language (illustrative): "It sounds as though keeping your father's tablet has fallen to you, and your new faith makes that complicated. What part of it feels like love, and what part feels like pressure?"
- Watch for: cost burdens; coercion or threats tied to rites (consider safeguarding); a young person pressed into a role, where consent and assent matter.
4.15 Working with fear of the dead, ancestral displeasure and guilt
- Purpose: respond to fear that the dead are unhappy, unrested or angry, or that neglect of rites causes misfortune [source: Sabucedo, Evans and Hayes 2023 on cultures that fear returning dead; Gedatsu, The Meaning of Obon, on spirits that cannot rest; synthesis for steps].
- Steps: (1) Ask what the client believes is happening and what their tradition teaches. (2) Differentiate fear held within the tradition from intrusive, obsessive or psychotic-type fear (4.5). (3) Ask what the tradition offers for such worries and whether the client wants to consult a religious leader (4.16). (4) Work on guilt with ordinary grief methods, staying within the client's frame. (5) Note that traditions differ: one Jodo Shinshu temple calls offerings to pacify souls "anathema" to its teaching [source: Senshin Buddhist Temple], which may matter to a client caught between family views.
- Example language (illustrative): "You're worried your grandmother isn't at peace because the rites weren't done. Who in your tradition would you trust to talk with about that?"
- Watch for: exploitation by people charging for rites to remove misfortune [synthesis]; escalating checking or ritual repetition (consider OCD).
4.16 Collaborating with religious leaders and community bodies
- Purpose: connect the client with a priest, temple, clan association or elder when the client wants religious guidance the therapist cannot give; in Singapore, clan associations organise ancestor rites for members [source: Singapore NHB].
- Steps: (1) Ask whether the client wants this and for what. (2) Obtain written consent and agree what may be shared (minimum necessary). (3) Clarify roles: the leader advises on religious matters; you on clinical ones. (4) Review the outcome with the client. (5) If you share the community, consider Standard 3.05 multiple relationships [source: APA Ethics Code].
- Example language (illustrative): "Would it help to ask the temple whether there's a way to hold a memorial now? I can support you in that, and we can decide together what, if anything, I share."
- Watch for: a leader whose guidance increases shame; confidentiality in small communities.
4.17 Children and ancestor rites
- Purpose: include bereaved children appropriately and support their grief; the continuing-bonds literature includes studies of children's construction of dead parents [source: Klass et al. 1996].
- Steps: (1) Work with parents or carers on explaining the rite in age-appropriate terms. (2) Seek the child's assent for taking part and offer choices of role. (3) Prepare the child for what they will see. (4) Allow the child's own ways of keeping the bond (drawings, keepsakes). (5) Watch for grief returning at developmental stages. The CFI has a module for school-age children and adolescents [source: APA CFI Supplementary Modules].
- Example language (illustrative, to a child): "At the grave, people will clean, light incense and bow. You can help, watch, or stay with Mum. Which would you like?"
- Watch for: frightening interpretations of the dead; parentified children taking on adult ritual roles; safeguarding concerns.
4.18 Holding differences of interpretation within and between traditions
- Purpose: help a client navigate conflicting teachings (e.g. whether ancestors return at Obon) in family or community [synthesis, using Senshin Buddhist Temple and Gedatsu as examples of differing views].
- Steps: (1) Name that views differ even within one religion. (2) Ask the client which view they hold, and which their relatives hold. (3) Explore how to take part respectfully without professing what they do not believe. (4) Refer theological questions to the client's authority.
- Example language (illustrative): "Your grandmother welcomes the spirits home at Bon; your temple says that isn't the teaching. How do you want to stand in that?"
- Watch for: the therapist taking sides on doctrine.
4.19 Coordinating with grief treatment and other services
- Purpose: route clients who meet PGD criteria or have complex needs to appropriate care [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) If PGD is likely, use or refer for prolonged grief treatment (II 127) or grief counselling (VI 128). (2) Integrate the client's rites as resources within that treatment. (3) Refer for psychiatric assessment if psychosis, severe depression or high risk is present; do not advise on medicines. (4) Consider hospice or bereavement services and suicide-bereavement support where relevant.
- Example language (illustrative): "The grief you're carrying fits a pattern there are specific treatments for. Your family's practices can stay central in that work."
- Watch for: treatments that implicitly ask the client to "let go" in ways that clash with their tradition.
4.20 Therapist self-reflection and cultural humility
- Purpose: check your own beliefs about death and ancestors so they do not steer the client [synthesis].
- Steps: (1) Notice reactions (discomfort, fascination, scepticism). (2) Use supervision or consultation with someone knowledgeable about the tradition, without breaching confidentiality. (3) Read the tradition's own institutional materials rather than generic summaries. (4) Ask the client to correct you.
- Example language (illustrative): "I may get some of this wrong, so please tell me when I do."
- Watch for: exoticising, or treating the client as a representative of a whole culture.
5. Handling problems
The sources do not address therapy problems specifically; all guidance in this section is [synthesis] unless a source is named.
- Client reluctant to discuss beliefs or practices. Fear of being judged is documented in at least one case report [source: Kondo-Arita 2012]. Respond: say explicitly that you are interested, not evaluating; ask about practices before beliefs; let the client set the depth.
- Stuck grief that the rites do not touch. Reassess for PGD (4.3), depression and trauma; the bond may be carrying unfinished business (4.7). Offer prolonged grief treatment (II 127) while keeping rites as resources. Alternating between loss-focused and restoration-focused work, as in the dual-process model (Stroebe and Schut), may help [uncertain: not verified].
- Rites used to avoid grief. If observances become busy duty that keeps feelings away, gently ask what happens in the moments after; do not criticise the practice itself.
- Overwhelm at observances. Plan in advance (4.10): a support person, a pause, permission to leave early; after a crisis, assess risk and debrief (4.11).
- Non-adherence to plans for an observance. Treat as information: avoidance, family conflict, practical barriers, or a changed wish. Ask which, without pressing the client to perform rites.
- Rupture: client feels the therapist dismissed or exoticised their tradition. Acknowledge directly, ask what landed badly, and correct; invite the client to teach you (4.20).
- Rupture: client feels pressured to perform or abandon rites. Restate that the choice is theirs; separate your clinical observations from any view on the practice.
- Family insists on rites the client rejects (or the reverse). Use 4.14; explore partial participation and respectful non-participation; offer a family session if all agree; check for coercion, threats or abuse and act on safeguarding duties.
- Distressing experiences of the deceased. Use 4.5: normalise what is common, explore meaning and fear, screen carefully for psychosis and sleep phenomena; refer for psychiatric assessment where indicated; medication decisions belong to prescribers [source: Sabucedo, Evans and Hayes 2023].
- Fear of punishment by ancestors, or exploitation. Use 4.15 and 4.16. If someone is charging large sums or demanding acts under threat of ancestral harm, discuss financial and safeguarding concerns with the client.
- Suicide in the family line or a death by suicide. Use 4.6; attend to stigma in rites; give crisis resources: 988 (US), Samaritans 116 123 (UK and Ireland).
- Migration and lost access to graves or communities. Use 4.12 and 4.13; consider the CFI module for immigrants and refugees [source: APA CFI Supplementary Modules].
- Therapist in the same community. Consider multiple relationships under APA Ethics Code Standard 3.05 [source: APA Ethics Code]; discuss confidentiality at observances where you may meet; refer on if roles cannot be kept clear.
- Requests for religious instruction. Decline to teach rites or doctrine; refer to the client's religious authority (4.16).
- Child refuses to take part. Respect assent; help parents offer alternatives; avoid forcing attendance as a test of loyalty (4.17).
Sources
- Kondo-Arita, A Japanese Terminal Patient's Hopes for Connections Transcending Time (Anthropology & Aging Quarterly)
- Sabucedo, Evans and Hayes, Perceiving those who are gone (White Rose repository)
- Peinado et al., ICD-11 prolonged grief disorder: Factors, correlates, and functional impairment (Ulster repository)
- Treml, Brähler and Kersting, Prevalence, Factor Structure and Correlates of DSM-5-TR Criteria for Prolonged Grief Disorder (Frontiers in Psychiatry)
- APA, DSM-5-TR: Making a Case for New Disorders
- APA, DSM-5 Cultural Formulation Interview Supplementary Modules
- Senshin Buddhist Temple, What is Obon?
- The Meaning of Obon (Gedatsu USA)
- Roots.sg (National Heritage Board, Singapore), Qing Ming Festival
- Confucius Institute, Goldsmiths, The Origin and Custom of Qingming Festival
- APA Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct (Standard 3.05, Multiple Relationships)
- ICD-10-CM Z65.8, Other specified problems related to psychosocial circumstances (includes 'Religious or spiritual problem')
- Books and articles: Klass, D., Silverman, P. R. and Nickman, S. (eds.) (1996). Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Taylor & Francis. Klass, D. (1996). Ancestor worship in Japan: Dependence and the resolution of grief. Omega, 33(4), 279-302.
- Cross-references: XIII 140 Confucian ancestor veneration; 112 mourning rites; VI 128 grief counselling; II 127 prolonged grief treatment.